Dating in today's world can be a minefield, especially when it comes to finding someone who shares your values and beliefs. In the age of social justice and activism, many people are looking for a partner who is "woke" - someone who is aware of and actively working to dismantle systems of oppression. However, not everyone who claims to be a "woke bae" actually lives up to the title. Here are 15 signs that the guy you're dating isn't the woke bae he thinks he is.
So, you think you've found the perfect partner, but have you really? Look out for these 15 signs that he might not be as woke as he seems. From outdated views on gender roles to subtle microaggressions, it's important to spot these red flags early on. Remember, true equality and respect are non-negotiable in any relationship. Stay informed and stay woke. For a discreet way to explore your sexuality, check out the SexFinder app here.
1. He doesn't listen to your experiences
One of the hallmarks of being "woke" is being able to listen and empathize with the experiences of others, especially those who are marginalized. If your guy dismisses or downplays your experiences as a woman, person of color, or member of the LGBTQ+ community, he may not be as woke as he claims to be.
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2. He prioritizes his comfort over your safety
A truly woke partner understands the importance of creating a safe and inclusive environment for their loved ones. If your guy consistently prioritizes his own comfort over your safety, whether it's in public spaces or within your relationship, it's a red flag that he may not be as socially conscious as he claims.
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3. He jokes about sensitive topics
Humor can be a powerful tool for addressing social issues, but there's a fine line between using humor to challenge the status quo and using it to perpetuate harmful stereotypes. If your partner makes jokes about sensitive topics like race, gender, or sexuality without considering their impact, it's a sign that he may not fully grasp the importance of these issues.
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4. He only engages with activism when it's convenient
Being "woke" isn't just about sharing articles on social media or attending protests when it's convenient. It's about actively working to dismantle systems of oppression in your everyday life. If your partner only engages with activism when it's trendy or convenient for him, it's a sign that his commitment to social justice may not run as deep as he claims.
5. He doesn't seek out diverse perspectives
A truly woke individual understands the importance of seeking out diverse perspectives and listening to voices that have been historically marginalized. If your partner only engages with media, literature, and art created by and for people who look like him, it's a sign that he may not fully grasp the importance of diverse representation.
6. He doesn't take responsibility for his privilege
Being "woke" means recognizing and taking responsibility for the ways in which your privilege can perpetuate systems of oppression. If your partner is defensive or dismissive when you try to talk to him about his privilege, it's a sign that he may not be as socially conscious as he claims.
7. He's resistant to learning and growth
Part of being "woke" is recognizing that we all have blind spots and areas for growth. If your partner is resistant to learning and growing, whether it's through conversations with you or through his own research and self-reflection, it's a sign that his commitment to social justice may not be as deep as he claims.
8. He only engages with social justice issues that directly affect him
A truly woke individual understands that all social justice issues are interconnected and that fighting for one marginalized group means fighting for all. If your partner only engages with social justice issues that directly affect him, it's a sign that he may not fully grasp the intersectionality of oppression.
9. He doesn't respect your boundaries
Respecting boundaries is a crucial aspect of being a socially conscious partner. If your guy consistently crosses your boundaries, whether it's in physical, emotional, or digital spaces, it's a sign that he may not fully understand the importance of consent and autonomy.
10. He uses performative allyship
Performative allyship refers to the practice of engaging in activism for the purpose of gaining social approval or appearing "woke" without truly understanding or committing to the cause. If your partner engages in performative allyship, whether it's through virtue signaling or tokenistic gestures, it's a sign that his commitment to social justice may not be as genuine as he claims.
11. He centers himself in conversations about oppression
A truly woke individual understands the importance of centering the voices and experiences of marginalized communities in conversations about oppression. If your partner consistently centers himself in these conversations, whether it's by playing devil's advocate or by making it about his own experiences, it's a sign that he may not fully grasp the importance of amplifying marginalized voices.
12. He doesn't take your concerns seriously
Being a socially conscious partner means taking your loved one's concerns and experiences seriously, especially when it comes to issues of oppression and discrimination. If your partner consistently dismisses or downplays your concerns, it's a sign that he may not fully grasp the importance of listening and empathizing with marginalized voices.
13. He's defensive when called out
No one is perfect, and part of being "woke" is recognizing and owning up to your mistakes. If your partner becomes defensive or dismissive when called out on his words or actions, it's a sign that he may not fully grasp the importance of accountability and growth.
14. He doesn't actively work to dismantle systems of oppression
Being "woke" isn't just about understanding and acknowledging social issues - it's about actively working to dismantle the systems of oppression that perpetuate them. If your partner doesn't actively work to challenge these systems, whether it's through his own behaviors or through supporting organizations and movements, it's a sign that his commitment to social justice may not be as deep as he claims.
15. He doesn't uplift and support you
A truly woke partner uplifts and supports their loved ones, especially those who are marginalized. If your guy doesn't actively work to uplift and support you, whether it's through his words, actions, or advocacy, it's a sign that he may not fully grasp the importance of standing in solidarity with marginalized communities.
In conclusion, finding a partner who shares your values and beliefs can be a challenging journey, especially when it comes to finding someone who is truly "woke." If your partner exhibits any of the signs mentioned above, it may be worth having a conversation with him about his commitment to social justice and your relationship. Remember, being "woke" isn't just a label - it's a lifelong commitment to challenging and dismantling systems of oppression in all aspects of your life.
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